Staying Alive
by Charles Obscure
Summary: Nuclear holocaust & total chaos heralds the beginning of the End. Life is coming to a close & the vampires find that this may not include them. So what if you find someone to live for when time is running out? ExB/AU/sensuality/violence/disturbing topics


A/N: Alright, babe, bear with me here. I just want to prepare you a little bit for what you're about to read and make certain that you understand what you're getting into. The following is not a fluffy teenage love story. It's dark, intense, tragic and overflowing with all of that masochistic angst that we love so much. There _will_ be some lemony material to come, as well. But mostly, we'll be keeping it sexy without turning smutty. There will also be a small amount of violence, mild language, brief drug references at some point and a couple of things that are simply fucked up.

But in all honesty, the aforementioned naughtiness really isn't my main concern. I'd like to think that most of us are mature enough to understand and not be offended by those types of situations and encounters, so I'm not overly worried about people hating this story (or me!) for that.

The thing that I'm concerned with the most is the possibility of offending some and turning off others with the religious overtones in this story. If I offend by way of insulting one's beliefs, I apologize, as I meant no harm to come from this. But please know that in an effort to keep things inoffensive by making all religious references as accurate as possible, every reference made was thoroughly researched and is rooted in some kind of recognized religious theory or text.

If you're the type who is turned off by things with religious overtones, please do not let this dissuade you from checking out this fic. I, myself, am not religious, but I feel that the use of these references add a kind of mystique and ethereal quality to the story. And please know that not all references made came from the same belief system. Also, this fic was not written with the intention of trying to preach to or convert anyone. I don't care if you're Christian, Muslim, Hindu or an Atheist, just as long as you're not a douche bag.

So I guess the only thing left to say is this:

All characters belong to Stephanie Meyers, but wasn't it nice of her to let me borrow them so that I might throw them in the most horrible of situations and watch them fend for themselves?

Keep it coolin', baby.

- Charles Obscure

xxx

_"For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?"_

Revelation 6:16

Armageddon, the Apocalypse, the Rapture.

Or, put more simply, the End. The end of all things to come.

This is humanity at its worst.

It is written that the nations will wage war, the Earth will be riddled with plagues and the seas will turn to blood. They say that the Sun will turn black, the Moon will become red, the stars will fall from the sky and earthquakes will shake the planet to its very core. It is said that when these signs arise, the end is upon us. Well, I don't know that the seas literally turned to blood, but they got pretty much everything else right.

The Apocalypse was, in fact, man made. It hadn't surprised us immortals. Many of us had watched for centuries as the humans crushed and destroyed the world around them. They cared so little for the planet they called home.

And the plagues? HIV, SARS, various diseases and flues, even cancer. Take your pick. Lethal viruses and illnesses contrived of man's own inanity ravaged the nations as they spread rapidly.

At one point in time, I might've said that the sun turning black was been a mere coincidence, for it was nothing more than a solar eclipse that could only be seen from locations in eastern Australia. But lately, I've had difficulty believing in such a thing as coincidence anymore.

Though most of us immortals had been aware of the previous signs for some time, we knew the end had come when the wars of the world had turned from limited skirmishes into an all-out nuclear holocaust. Major cities all across the globe were struck with the nuclear attacks. And now the moon grew red and the stars all but disappeared as a result of the chemicals that had drifted into the Earth's atmosphere. Even the seas were tainted by the nuclear weapons. As the run-off from the radiation mingled with the already polluted lakes, rivers and oceans, the waters turned from crystal blues and algae greens into a murky shade of deep scarlet.

But these consequences of man would not affect the immortals. As far as we knew, not even an atomic bomb could obliterate us. I had only ever seen our kind as something akin to vermin and now I felt that our indestructibility only confirmed this theory. We were much like cockroaches in that respect; vile and impenetrable beings.

And perhaps this was no more than a coincidence that the trials of the world's end would not affect the vampires. Or perhaps, this too, was written.

According to several different religious and prophetic sources directly referring to the end of time, the souls of men will be judged and either accepted into the gates of Heaven or cast out into the pit of fire.

The _souls_ of men.

So where does this leave those who have no souls? It leaves us an eternity on a desecrated, dead planet, weak with thirst from the lack of humans and animals. And even if one like my father Carlisle, who chose to believe that immortals do contain souls, was absolutely right in their theory, vampires would still remain in the same condition as we cannot die from these disastrous acts of both God and men. Of course, life will eventually restart as it has before. After a billion years or so of being the only "living" entities on the planet, single-celled organisms will begin to appear, then multi-celled organisms. And after waiting nearly five billion more years, the most primitive form of man may possibly arise. But that's only what we _think_ will happen. Or, put more accurately, that is what we're _hoping_ will happen.

And that's the best possible outcome.

My family had made plans to flee our quiet home of Forks, Washington before the first bomb on New York City was dropped. Alice had foreseen the events of the End unfold and had warned us to run to the south. The radiation from the bombs would reach the equator last, making it the most hospitable place until the End and what remained of the animals, our prey, were already on the move. They too seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to mass hysteria. But not everyone in the family was so eager to leave Forks just yet. Rosalie and Esme refused to leave the home that they loved so much until it was absolutely necessary.

"Why leave our home? No matter where we go, it's not like we'll die," Rosalie said. I knew from the start that she'd be the one to go up against to our proposal. I expected it. Always bitter about her mortal life being taken from her, Rosalie was forever the one who tried to live the most "human" existence possible. _The few intelligent humans who've figured out what all this bullshit means aren't leaving __**their**__ homes. They know there's no point,_ Rosalie's afterthoughts said. We were standing in the pristine living room of our home in Forks at that moment. My family, at all times an indivisible unit, was now standing divided by an intangible and yet, nearly visible barrier. Rosalie, Esme, Emmett and Carlisle stood with their backs to the expansive glass wall that revealed the forest that was once abundant with life. With their protective postures and stoic expressions, they were slightly reminiscent of a miniscule army defending their beloved land from ruin. On any other occasion, I might've laughed.

On the offensive were Alice, Jasper and I, lingering near the front door across the room from the others. The three of us had been prepared to leave since the night we found Alice crying tearlessly into the matted carpet of brown, dead leaves that covered the forest floor. Alice had been the one to suggest we flee for the South immediately, and Jasper and I agreed that if Alice felt it was worth it, than it must be so.

"Please, you guys. Be reasonable," Alice pleaded. "The animals are already on the move, so what's the use in any of us staying? There'll be nothing left here for us!"

"If this is truly the end," Esme replied, slipping a hand in Carlisle's. "Then what's the point in leaving?"

"I'd rather watch the world burn from the comfort of my own home," Rose added.

Jasper exchanged a glance with me. _They're being asinine,_ he thought. _Okay, sure. The world's ending and we'll be left behind. That's all the more reason to hunt as much as possible until it does! _I nodded infinitesimally in agreement. Though not entirely outspoken, Jasper was a logical thinker. I'd even overheard him considering a suggestion of returning to a diet of human blood in this time of desperation. And it was a perfectly sound decision for it _would_ sustain us longer, but after several billion years it wouldn't make us any less thirsty than the rest of them. Jasper, too, realized this almost as quickly as the original idea came to him in the first place. But more importantly, Jasper was also cognizant of how much it would destroy Alice, his only reason for being, if he submitted to his instinctual desires, and so he remained silent on the subject.

Jasper looked to Carlisle and Emmett. "And I suppose this means there's no swaying you two, either?" he asked with a sigh, already knowing the answer. He knew that if Alice had chosen to stay that he could never leave her, so how could he expect Emmett or Carlisle act any differently?

And, as anticipated, they both shook their heads. "Where Rose goes, I go," Emmett stated as he wrapped his arm around Rosalie's waist and pulled her closer.

"Please, stay," Esme begged. If she'd had the ability, there was no doubt in my mind that her eyes would've been swimming with the salt of her tears. Her soft voice broke in dry sobs.

"Shhhh..." Carlisle cooed as Esme pushed her face into his chest and he ran his ivory fingers through her caramel-colored waves. "Alice, Jasper and Edward are doing what's best for their situations. We can't hold that against them." He spoke softly to her, though his words were heard clearly by all. I felt a stab of guilt sear through my chest. How was it that I could feel so selfish about making the right decision? But I already knew the answer. I was no longer able to view our choice as "what's best". Now I could only see it as the abandonment of my family to satiate my own needs. And at that moment, I could hear Jasper and Alice experiencing the same feelings.

"Well," Emmett offered. "We can always meet back up after this thing's over." He looked to Alice. "Right?"

Alice shook her head in sorrow. "I can't see past the end. I've tried, but I'm guessing it's because there's no telling what will be left for us afterwards. The possibilities are infinite." She shrugged heavily. "Maybe, after..."

In the end, neither side could give a reason strong enough to do any convincing, hard-headed, stubborn creatures that we are. Esme did what she could to try and convince us to stay behind. Telling my mother "no" was one of the most difficult things I'd ever had to do. It was nearly as hard as leaving behind Carlisle, my father and my companion. The pained look his golden eyes took as he watched us leave might've killed me, had such a thing been possible. But I could not, would not stay.

So Jasper, Alice and I began our journey south to follow our quarry.

About two weeks after the three of us had left the overcast skies and misty mountains of the American Northwest, the world woke up to the ominous sounds of sirens crying and people screaming. The bombs had been dropped on nearly every major city and the fuse that would ignite The End had been lit. Humans inhabiting the United States and Canada began migrating south, as well. And then there was seemingly unending chaos.

My brother, my sister and I had settled into an abandoned house on the edge of Albuquerque, New Mexico when the nuclear attacks began and the riots filled the streets of every metropolis. This was the precursor to the immortals revealing themselves. Once the other vampires had come to understand what was happening, they stopped hiding. And now the entire human race became privy to our secret lifestyle, adding to the hysteria. Suddenly, monsters were real. And the feeding frenzy began.

It didn't take long for the humans to lash back. Groups of a hundred or more people began forming to protect the frightened populace from these blood-drinking demons. They called themselves "crusaders" as they sought out vampires to destroy. Alice, Jasper and I paid little attention to these modern day vampire hunters initially. What could a group of _mortals _possibly do to us? But we, of course, underestimated the opportunistic mentality of the Volturi and their guard. They saw an occasion to gain many new recruits by offering the guard's services to these organizations. They promised the humans that no harm would befall them as long as they allowed the Volturi to uphold vampire law by punishing the immortals who had failed to keep the secret. It hadn't taken very long for the mortals to realize that even their largest army was not enough to destroy even one vampire, so they obliged in letting the vampire royalty seek to destroy its own kind.

It seemed to be a wondrous arrangement for the humans; they were able to have the reckless immortals disposed of, while the Volturi was allowed to uphold their laws without human conflict or confrontation. But as the Volturi moved from city to city answering the humans' pleas for help, the guard became noticeably larger and more war-hungry.

"It's a recruitment device," Alice explained one evening as we hunted the desert life near the U.S./Mexico border. "From what I can see, it looks like the guard goes to every city with the intention of finding immortals with abnormal strength or rare and useful gifts."

"You mean, gifts like telepathy, empathy and clairvoyance?" I asked. Jasper's thoughts froze as he registered what was being implied. He dropped to the dry, cracked Earth the decimated fox that he had just drained, kicking up a small plume of brown dust upon impact. Alice nodded. We all knew what this meant. Our gifts were exactly the type of anomalies that the Volturi's leader, Aro, yearned for and sought after. When the Volturi found us, and they would eventually, we would have to make the decision to either join them or be slaughtered by them. Neither one was a fate that we cared to choose, and so now the three of us no longer hid to protect our secret, but we hid to protect ourselves.

The coming weeks after the bombings and the vampire attacks gave way to the manifestation of our own personal Hells. With the entire world now in a state of pure psychotic terror, Jasper was literally going insane. Though there was enough distance between us and the remaining people in the city that I was rarely ever able hear any thoughts aside from our own, the world its self was flooded with maniacal emotions. There was no place my brother could go to escape the frenzied emotional climate. Alice suffered immensely as she sat in the basement of the dilapidated house we chose as our temporary abode, helplessly watching her beloved as he screamed and cried indecipherable ramblings into the dirt and concrete of the floor. And I, myself, could not take the anguish of his thoughts. The pain behind them was over-powering and his endless panic attacks overtook me nearly as much as it did him. Alice said she couldn't stand to see both of us in such a state, so she sent me away, knowing that I didn't have to endure what Jasper did if I wasn't near them. We promised to find each other somehow once it was all over.

And so I ran to Phoenix, Arizona to wait out the storm.

xxx

It had been only twelve days since I'd left Alice and Jasper's company back in New Mexico. Phoenix was almost entirely devoid of life, excluding a small amount of my hunted quarry and the few families like my own who refused to leave their homes. I understood, to some extent. By now, most of the humans had realized that this was the end; that they would surely die. And, quite the opposite of my family, why leave your home and the things that you love when you're going to die no matter where you are? Though there were still some who believed that this would all pass. How pathetically naive. Or optimistic. I suppose it depends on how one looks at it.

In Phoenix, I inhabited an empty hotel. It didn't really matter to me where I stayed, I suppose, but I felt mildly fortunate (considering my surroundings) to have stumbled upon a dwelling with a piano. With the Earth being overcome by earthquakes, hurricanes and other various natural disasters, then I didn't have much time left to appreciate the one thing that I felt gave my "life" some sort of purpose: music. Undoubtedly, every instrument would be taken in the destruction.

Every piano, every violin, every guitar.

Gone.

Flutes, clarinets, trumpets and cellos.

Everything.

Gone.

I think that's what I was going to miss the most once this was all said and done. I was going to miss the exuberant melodies of B and the sorrowful, mournful tones of D minor. Even more so, I would miss the clenching sensation I'd get in my chest every time a new composition fell from my mind on to the ebony and ivory keys beneath my cold hands. I was one-hundred twelve years old at this point. If things worked out in our favor, then I would be over thirty billion years old the next time I touched another piano, assuming the Volturi hadn't gotten to me before then.

And so I sat there at the piano during the day, trying to soak up as much music as possible before I could no longer appreciate it before taking to the wasted landscape to hunt my limited prey during the night.

I was, at that moment, sitting atop a large building in the once bustling downtown of Phoenix, surveying the vast and beautiful land of the last modern-day city I would call home. I could see Camelback Mountain in the distance and the desert sun setting behind it, creating brilliant spires of amber light that reached up towards the heavens like fingertips.

The sunsets were spectacular now. The same atmospheric chemicals that had turned the moon ruby now created the most beautiful effects in the sky as the Sun sank down lower and lower towards the horizon. There was the typical red, yellow and even splashes of light pink that one would see in a regular sunset, but they were now intensified into crimson, gold and pale cherry. And they were accompanied by new streaks of violet, cyan, indigo and jade. The Sun shone with an infinitesimally smaller amount of intensity as its true colors of yellow and red filtered through the abused atmosphere and created a rich dark gold. Even the sky itself had taken on a new color. What was once blue was now a peaceful lavender during the day and a deep wine at night. Every sunset and sunrise painted a completely new picture over the arid desert, a sight that was foreign to me but one that I was quickly growing accustomed to, also. My skin sparkled and reflected the colors that shown down from the exquisite skyline. For once, I was mildly fascinated by the millions of little facets in my skin.

As I watched the changing clouds, I heard thoughts drift up to me from the deserted streets below. A rarity. I hadn't heard anyone come downtown for five days, now. I listened carefully. It was another vampire. My listening grew more intent. Perhaps Alice and Jasper had come to join me? I was uncomfortable with all of this stillness and silence and I longed for a familiar face.

And then I grimaced. It was neither my brother nor my sister. The vampire was alone and he was hunting. No, not hunting. Stalking. In his wandering mind, I could see the girl whom he coveted. She was attractive enough with her long coffee-colored hair that waved down to her waist and creamy, pastel skin. Her warm, brown eyes were wide like dark orbs. She was short, petite and looked soft and feminine with her small hands and delicate bone structure. But even had she not been attractive to me, I still would've felt the need to save this young creature. Though the end was near and it more than likely didn't matter whether or not a human lived or died, I couldn't stand to watch a life being taken right before me. I don't know why. Something about it just irks me, I suppose.

I stood up and silently walked to the edge of the flat roof top, peering over the edge and searching for the hunter and his hunted. I spotted them just down the street about a hundred stories below me, hidden in the tall shadows cast by the skyscrapers. I swung down onto the ledge and ghosted along the side of the building until I too was on the street, hidden in shadow.

I kept my attention focused on the vampire and human girl. They were about a block away from where I stood and he wasn't wasting any time going in for the kill. I had no time to waste. I propelled myself forward.

The vampire turned to me just before I collided with him, driving him into the brick wall of a building across the street and concaving it in somewhat. Out of my periphery, I saw the pretty girl turn to me with her wide eyes, but I paid her little attention. I ran towards the blood-lusting vampire. He attempted to run around me but I rebuked his move and slid in front of him. He snarled and crouched down into an offensive attack, eyes the color of onyx and dirt smudged on his face and clothes. The vampire lunged at me and I threw him down to the ground.

He was weak with thirst and though I hadn't fed much in the past week either, my strength far surpassed his. I held him down by the shoulders and lowered my mouth to his neck, ripping away at his iron flesh with my razor-sharp teeth. I made short work of him, severing the head from the body and swiftly tearing him from limb to limb. It was an easy kill. I threw the pieces in a pile on the derelict street and pulled out the silver Zippo lighter from my pocket, igniting the small mound of extremities. Purple smoke snaked its way up to the sky, burning my nose with the sickeningly sweet aroma of a blazing vampire.

I looked across the street to the human girl. She was curled up against the wall and breathing heavily, eyes locked on me.

And that's the moment I noticed it. The absence of her thoughts. She was a mere thirty feet away from me on the other side of the street. Her body trembled in fear but why could I not hear her internal screams? It took me aback, but I found myself untroubled by this. In another time, I would've found this frustrating (and the smallest part of me still did) but something in me had given up on caring what happened in the world around me anymore. Maybe I was just depressed, I'm not sure. But then her voice shook me from my reverie.

"Are you going to kill me?" she asked in the smallest of voices.

I took a deep breath. "No," I replied.

She sat up slowly. "Why?" Though still fearful, her voice held an edge of confusion.

"Because I won't." I slowly approached her, the sound of my footsteps echoing off of the tall buildings that lined the dead street. Her body didn't cringe like I thought it would at out waning proximity.

"But I know what you are. You're one of them. So why won't you kill me?" she asked again.

"Because," I sighed. "I just won't."

And then her powerful aroma hit my nose like a blow to the face.

My mouth was suddenly swimming with venom and my body tensed with the flames that ripped up my throat. It was so sudden that any rational thought flew from my head at an alarming speed. The animal was taking over quickly. I needed to taste her blood, needed it more than life itself.

The yearning that I had in every fiber of my being for this child's blood was completely overwhelming. I desired it more than anything that I'd wanted in my century of life. Was this a product of my consuming and insatiable thirst or was she just a device of the Devil sent to undo all of my years of abstinence? And what was the point of abstaining from human blood at this point? The humans would all be dead in a month or so and her blood was sweeter, more potent of a temptation than anything I could've contrived in my own imagination. The monster within me had been brought to life after I'd tried so hard to bury him deep within myself. I tensed my muscles into a crouch, preparing to sink my teeth into that luscious part of her neck where her wet pulse beat so quickly.

But in that moment, Carlisle's face entered my mind. My loving, compassionate father. Even in this ending hour, wherever he was, I knew he wouldn't have turned his back on the lifestyle he had created for himself. I had to believe that I would find him again after the end had come for the human race. How would he think of me once I had confessed to taking the life of this helpless human girl (because I undoubtedly would confess)? Even in my darkest days, I had never tasted the blood of an innocent. I could not, would not bring this shame to my father.

I snapped back to reality and clamped my mouth shut, keeping myself from breathing anymore of her intoxicating scent. Without giving myself any time to think it over, I flung myself back across the street against the wall opposite from where she sat. I took a deep breath of clean air. My sudden movements had startled her. She'd recoiled within herself.

"Are you, umm... are you okay?" she asked me timidly.

"I... don't... know..." I was afraid to talk, afraid to breathe in even the smallest remnant of her intoxicating scent.

We remained in silence for a couple of minutes as the pyre burned between us and the sun dipped further down the horizon. The blood-red moon rose higher in the burgundy sky as the fire grew dimmer between the girl and me. In the back of my mind I wondered why she hadn't left already. Why would she choose to stay alone in a darkened and uninhabited street with a thirsty vampire?

"What's your name?" the girl asked me. Her voice, which had grown stronger and confident since the last time she'd spoken, surprised me. Her absence of thoughts almost made me forget that she was even there.

Almost.

"Edward Cullen," I breathed. "And yourself?"

"Bella," she replied. "Bella Swan."

'_Beautiful Swan'?_ I thought to myself. _Well, I suppose I would've given a fake name, too, if I were in her place._

"Well, _Bella Swan_," I said in a slightly sarcastic tone, making her aware that I knew she'd given me a fake name. "I've had a lovely evening here in the street with you, but I think it's best if you leave now."

The girl called Bella crossed her arms over her chest as an annoyed expression appeared on her face.

"I'm not lying, you know," she said in a tone that would've had me believe that any trace of her fear was completely dissipated. "That really is my name. Though I really shouldn't blame you." Her harsh tone softened. "Hardly anyone ever believes me at first."

I immediately felt apologetic for second-guessing her. Who was I to treat her with disrespect when her entire species was on the brink of extinction?

"I'm sorry that I didn't believe you," I said. "That wasn't fair. But you really should be going now. It isn't safe for you here."

Bella looked down at the hard concrete sidewalk on which she sat, looking dejected. "It's not safe for me anywhere, really."

"I know," I sighed. "But it's even less so right here. You really should go."

She cocked her head at me. Her hair, which had turned raven in the growing darkness, rustled and waved with her movements.

"Why?"

I ground my teeth together. "You ask 'why' a lot, don't you? 'Why won't you kill me?' 'Why do I have to leave you alone?'"

Bella shrugged. "I just don't like people telling me things that I can't understand."

"Perhaps it's best if you don't understand," I suggested.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she inquired with a raised eyebrow. How she remained so casual when the world around us was falling to pieces I'll never know.

"That's just a different way of asking me 'why'," I pointed out.

She rolled her eyes. "Will you at least answer _one _of my questions?"

"I already did," I said. "You asked me my name and I answered you."

She made a frustrated noise. "Will you please just tell me why you didn't kill me? I know it's not like the answer is really all that important in the grand scheme of things, but all life on Earth is about to be obliterated, including me. So would you please just quit being so God damn selfish and do one thing for me by answering the damn question?"

As hard as I tried not to, I couldn't help but smile at Bella's chastisement. To some extent, it was comical to watch as a human (and such a fragile one at that) told me off. But I felt myself smiling more out of a feeling of awe at this girl's boldness than from the ironic humor in the situation.

"Alright, fine," I said as I gave in to her request. "It's because I don't drink human blood."

"Really? Is that even possible?" she asked. I nodded. Bella seemed genuinely curious and it made me want to satisfy her inquisitive mind. "How?"

"My family and I live off of the blood of animals," I told her. "We're above killing humans."

"Where's your family?" she asked me, her voice growing quiet again, concerned.

"We've split up for the time being," I said. "Where's your family, Bella?"

She looked down at the ground. "I watched my mother and step-father murdered during the riots a couple of weeks ago. I don't know where my father is now. He lived up in Washington."

I felt horrible for this delicate little human girl. To watch her family die and now to be so alone during her last few weeks of life. My dead heart broke for her. But simultaneously, I thought of the good-natured police chief back in Forks, Charlie Swan, and wondered if there was any relation. But what were the odds?

"I'm sorry," I said, my posture finally relaxing a bit. As long as there was no breeze, her fragrance would not be so pungent and she would remain safe. "It's difficult to be alone. I would know."

"Do you ever get scared sometimes?" she asked.

I thought it over. I knew I wasn't scared of the same things that Bella feared, but at times I was afraid of other things. Namely, myself. "Yeah," I said. "I guess I do."

We were silent again. Though I was enjoying the company, I knew this interaction couldn't last much longer. As long as this girl remained in my presence, her days would no longer be number, but instead, her minutes would.

Once I heard her heartbeat slow and her breathing become even, I knew she was asleep, crumpled on the sidewalk like a rag doll. I slowly moved from the wall and began walking down the barren concrete.

"It was nice meeting you, Bella Swan," I whispered to her from across the street. And then I stopped to look at her sleeping form. Though we were in the middle of the desert, the night air must've been cool to her tender human flesh. I looked at the jacket I wore. Fitted, dark blue wool that buttoned up the front, lined in silk. I suppose it must've been expensive, but why did I need it? It's not as if I would ever get chilled. So I made a decision. I took a deep breath into my useless lungs and held it in as I walked back towards her, slipping my arms from the jacket sleeves.

She was soon at my feet, completely unsuspecting and totally at my mercy. I crouched down. If I killed her now, she would never feel a thing, and would be none the wiser. In fact, she would no longer have to suffer here on our dying planet with no family and no home. I could end this for her right now and I would be glad to do it.

A million reasons why I should just take her right there flew through my head, and they all were valid. Each one made perfect sense. But I resisted. No matter how noble I'd pretend I was being for taking this vulnerable girl's life, it wouldn't change the fact that I was acting out of selfishness and desire. Even more so, no matter how much more turmoil I'd be sparing this girl from, it did not change the fact that I was taking an untainted human life.

So I instead laid the coat over top of her. I held my place, crouched down in front of her sleeping form. I memorized her smooth features shaded azure, amethyst and auburn in the strange red moonlight. She was so peaceful, and part of me envied her for it.

And I reached my hand out slowly, wanting to touch that soft spot on her neck that I was so drawn to. Dare I touch her? I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt casual human contact of any kind. I knew she was delicate, fragile, and at any moment her scent could leak into my senses and I would break her. My thoughts flickered to an image of her cold, lifeless body lying dead and gray on the street, her brown eyes dull and unresponsive, her silent lips parted slightly.

No, I could not kill her.

But I had to touch her.

I grazed her throat lightly with my fingertips, remembering to be gentle. Her heated, creamy skin was like velvet against the rock hard skin of my fingers and I felt her pulse accelerate slightly beneath my icy touch. She was too perfect. And that was exactly why I could never see her again.

And so I left her, running out into the wilderness to hunt.

xxx


End file.
